Monday, March 09, 2009

Camp Sentimentality

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my time at Camp. More thinking about the people I met there and the friends I’ve still got from my time there. I think it’s got a lot to do with the fact that I’ll be back in California in August and I’m getting excited/anxious/nervous to be going back. I know I’m not the same girl they all knew back when I was there but I also know they’ll (hopefully) still love the person I’ve become.

Camp was a strange place for me. A wonderful amazing place but still strange. When I first went there I was 20. I was at a point in my life where it was “change things or settle” and I was NOT willing to settle. I wanted adventure and new experiences and camp life certainly provided me with both of those things.

I think the thing that surprised me the most about my time at camp was the friendships that formed so easily and so quickly. I met people at Camp Campbell who I did not believe existed in real life. I didn’t dare dream that these people existed because I would then have believed that I was missing out on something in my “normal” world. Sounds harsh to my “normal” world friends but I don’t mean it to. I love my real world friends more than anything but this was something else in its entirety and unless you’ve had the “Camp” experience then it’ll be hard to understand.

It’s something that never leaves you, and I don’t ever want it to.
My trip back to the USA this year was only supposed to be a 2 week holiday. I’ve blown it out to 4 weeks because I want to have enough time to spend with Storm. I want to go on a road trip and catch up with as many people as I possibly can who I shared Camp time with. I know it’ll break my heart all over again to see them and leave but I think that bit of pain will be worth it.

I miss my boys. I miss Storm. I just want to be there with them so much lately that it hurts. Most of them I haven’t seen in over 3 years but that level of happiness that fills my heart with each facebook message or short email doesn’t diminish with time.

I can remember on my last night at camp 3 years ago Shawn asked me why he mattered so much to me, why I believed that he was one of my favourite people in the world. At the time I couldn’t put it into words, I don’t think my brain would let me vocalise what I wanted to say because it was hurting my heart to know I was leaving him and everyone else again the next day. I can honestly say I’ve never known people like them before, I’ve never laughed, loved or belonged so easily before. They always made it easy to be me. They always made me feel like it was ok to be just me. That is a rare and special thing in a friend.

I only wish there wasn’t a great big ocean between us. I wish it didn’t have to take me 3 years to get back to them. It feels like every time I visit that it isn’t long enough.

This post sounds a bit like I’m depressed – it’s not supposed to. I’m excited! I’m beyond excited!!! I want to be in the Californian sunshine, I want to be walking down a street with Storm & the boys; I want to be reunited with friends who I haven’t seen in over 3 years!

A lot of missing happens when you have friends who live across the other side of the world but when you finally get to see them again and it feels like home, there’s nothing better.
SO this post goes out to all those Camp Campbell alumni who will be in/around the Californian area at the start of August... I’m coming and you’d better be ready to meet up again! I miss you all and am NOT taking any excuses!
Super excited love & sparkles
x x x

P.S The past month has been one of the best ever and I'm sorry I've been M.I.A. Life sometimes catches up on you and your online life disappears. I'll try to not be away so long this time.
Song of the moment = Jack's Mannequin - Doris Day

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